Beauties, it’s Mental Health Day this weekend so we’re sharing this feature from Life Coach Lisa Cybaniak to ask her advice about how to deal with fluctuating emotions, which is something a lot of us are faced with during this time of uncertainty. In this piece, Lisa discusses how to look at your emotions in a different way and gain a sense of empowerment from them.
As women, we are told all our lives that we are “emotional”. Men and women alike are scolded when we express “negative” emotions such as disappointment, sadness, or anger. The fact that they are even labelled as “negative” emotions speaks volumes.
Some of us even feel that to fit in and be taken seriously, we need to dampen our emotions, or disconnecting from them altogether.
But what if I gave you a new way to look at your emotions AND a strategy to climb out of any emotional funk into a state of empowerment?
Emotional Guidance System
Rather than disconnecting from or pushing down our emotions, being embarrassed or disappointed when they flare into a place we would rather not be, let us shift our perspective.
Our emotions are a guidance system letting us know when we are in the flow, resonating with life force energy when we are feeling good. Of course, that means that when we do not feel good, we are out of the flow, no longer resonating with the energy that flows around and through us. We are still connected to it, just not speaking the same language, if you will.
If we can come to grips with this concept, then to feel a “negative” emotion is simply a warning light alerting you to an issue, raising a flag to let you know that you are slipping out of flow.
And if we treat it that way, we no longer feel guilty for feeling those emotions and instead are inspired to move along our emotional ladder until we again feel good.
The Emotional Ladder
This is a portion of the ladder, or scale, taken from Ask and It is Given, by Abraham-Hicks.
The concept of this exercise is quite simple. The emotions shown from the middle downwards are traditionally seen as negative, the ones above, positive. We are looking to identify where we are on the ladder, and move ourselves up, one rung at a time – not because we feel guilty for being there, or should not be there, but because we want to resonate with the flow of life force energy.
First, become aware of your emotions and accept whatever emotion you are feeling in this moment. If you are not feeling good, then your aim is to reach for the first thought or feeling you can muster that makes you feel better than you are feeling right now, in this moment. That is it.
You are not looking to zoom all the way to the top in a blink of an eye. Instead, understand that you only have access to emotions and thoughts that have a similar energy to the one you are feeling. Rather than disappointing yourself by reaching to feel empowered when you only have access to feelings of fear, simply look to feel better than right now.
While feeling angry is not a place we want to land and build our home, allowing yourself to feel anger because it feels better than feeling fear or powerless, is a step in the right direction. When you are ready, search out for any thoughts or feelings that make you feel better than “anger”. Perhaps that is blame.
Keep moving your way up the emotional ladder until you are feeling good; in an emotional place that you would enjoy remaining in for some time.
As you practice this more and more and get comfortable with it, building your awareness along the way, you will find that your emotional guidance system is fantastic! Mark my words, you will actually enjoy slipping down the ladder as you will know deep within that you have the power to pull yourself right back up, and fast.
And because you will be so in tune with your emotions, you will likely notice this having a stabilizing impact on your emotions. Not that you will never again feel any “negative” emotion, but that you will slip down that rabbit hole far less than before. As soon as you recognize where you are on the ladder, and remember that this is your guidance system alerting you, you will take the steps necessary to get back into the flow, and thus feeling good!