What to do when you don’t have the energy for self-care

There are days when even the idea of ‘self-care’ feels exhausting. Your favourite meditation app goes unopened; your yoga mat remains rolled up. Even doing your regular skincare routine feels like it’s taking up too much space in your mind. Self-care just feels like yet another thing you have to do.

On days like this, the most supportive thing you can do for yourself is just let go of trying and to simply do what your instincts are telling you, to simplify and to stop trying to push yourself into someone else’s version of wellness.

What to do when self‑care feels exhausting

Most of what we’re shown about self-care these days is active and aspirational. Social media is filled with these long morning rituals, full resets that are supposed to transform you and change your life. But when your nervous system is already feeling overloaded, these things can feel impossible, or it can leave you feeling like a failure if you can’t meet their standards.

That’s not what self-care is about. It’s not meant to be performative, and it’s not meant to drain you further… here’s what you can do.

Dr Paul Pantiru, founder of emotional wellness platform Radismile, said: “When we’re emotionally overwhelmed, the nervous system often shifts into a fight-or-flight response, which is why traditional, high-effort self-care can feel exhausting or even impossible. In those moments, the most important thing is interrupting that stress loop, not adding another task.

“When energy is low, self-care should feel like relief, not work. Brief moments of nervous-system regulation, as simple as pausing, slow breathing or guided audio focused on relaxation, can create inner space for tension to release. Even a subtle inner smile helps the body remember what calm and balance feel like.”

“Start with the 1%. Most people when they are in a bad mental health space are not able to go out and seek support. They can work with what they have though. 

Taking a bath (preferably with Epsom salts), we are 70% water, when we connect with water it naturally relaxes us. 

Draumbinding – an ancient technique where you take in two sharp breaths, hold for 1 second and then breath out for 8. This will naturally make you feel better.

Eating oats and having lavender smells- naturally regulates the nervous system,” says Sam Morris, a former UK probation officer who spent years working to change the behaviours of the most extreme and has spent the past 10 years helping people regulate their nervous system.

Redefining self-care

On low energy days, self-care should be all about support. Instead of asking yourself – “what should I be doing?” reframe this and ask yourself: “what would make this moment slightly easier?”

Low energy self-care tips

When your energy is limited, it’s about the less is more approach. Here are some gentle, low effort ways to care for yourself:

Reduce Stimulation

When your energy is low and you’re feeling overwhelmed, reducing some of the input around you can really help to bring you back to yourself. This can be by:

• Turning off the lights (or dimming them).
• Lowing the volume of the TV or your other devices.
• Put your phone on silent, even if that’s just for 10 minutes.

Look for Passive Self-Care

Passive selfcare focuses on rest, comfort and reducing demand, instead of requiring active effort. You can do this by:

• Listening to calming music or an audiobook
• Sitting in sunlight
• Rewatching a comforting show or movie
• Relax under a weighted blanket – both a sensory comfort as well as encouraging rest

 Reach for sensory comfort

Ground your nervous system through your senses to help you feel safe and supported.

This could be:

• Touch: soft fabrics, a cosy blanket or a warm bath
• Smell: look for comforting scents like lavender or your favourite essential oil.
• Sound: calm, familiar music or nature sounds work well.
• Sight: keep the lighting soft, watch something that brings you joy or calm or even look at a favourite photo.
• Taste: a warm cup of tea or something small and comforting.

Focus on one small action

Let’s not overcomplicate things here or try to do too much. But if you feel up to it, focus on one small action and let that be enough. Some ideas include:

• Drinking water
• Applying a face oil
• Gently brushing your hair

There may be moments when even these gentle suggestions feel like they’re out of reach and that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s about just giving yourself permission to rest, to not ask anything of yourself.

Self-care is about listening to your body and acknowledging those feelings and letting yourself be okay with that.