Beauties…. here are some words of wisdom from our founder Denise Rabor all about how to move forward in spite of our fears and make a change in 14 days.
FEAR. Fear is something that affects every one of us in one way or another every day – and it’s natural, normal and nothing to be ashamed of. With that said, I think it’s important to point out that statistically, women are more prone to fear than men in as much as we are more likely to allow our fears to keep us tied to our comfort zone. Now, don’t get me wrong, a comfort zone is not a bad thing and at times it’s just where we need to be for stability and respite: the thing is that fear is powerful and becomes a problem when it moves away from being just your every day “of the moment fear” into the kind of fear that keeps us stuck and unable to make changes in our lives, unable to take that advantage of opportunities that we’ve probably dreamt of and yet when they appear our fears prevent us from grabbing them – so we say stuck which can lead to stress and anxiety as our inner dialogue becomes increasingly fraught.
Interestingly a lot of his fear stems from the feelings of not being enough, and the self-sabotaging behaviour that manifests from this deeply healthier isn’t always something that we are even aware of.
Okay let’s take a moment to think about how fear manifests in your life- It’s usually through self-sabotaging behaviours:: how about procrastination? Especially when it comes to things that matter to you procrastination is a way of managing our fear of Failure. Then there’s failing to manage your time so you end up rushing to do things at the last minute all stressed, flustered and annoyed. Or not attending an event because you don’t have anything suitable to wear you tell yourself or not switching off your devices and laying down to rest before midnight when you know full well that helps you to get up in earlier & to perform better when you’re well-rested…? The list of self-sabotaging behaviours that we indulge in because of our fears is endless.
So how can we start to manage this and move forward in spite of our fears? One step at a time – inch by inch with kindness…. remember that it takes time to create change. Ultimately it’s not about being fearless it’s about being able to fear ‘less’.
1 . Make an honest list of your 5 top self sabotaging behaviours ( examples are at the bottom)
2 . Sit down with a sheet of paper or notebook and make a list of things that you’ve missed out on over the last 3 months out of fear or self-sabotage.
3 . Now pick one behaviour that you’re going to work on: the idea is that you’ll work on it for the next 14 Days. Make a list of the positive ways in which you can manage this particular behaviour, so for example if you’re working on lateness due to ‘lastminute.comitis’ then your list might include:
- Listing in order of priority the things that you have to do each morning
- Deciding to do a brain dump every evening of things that you need to get done, putting them in order of priority
- Creating a timed schedule for the 1st couple of hours of your day.
- Try asking yourself – what steps do I have to take in order to get to my destination on time? Eg. Have my clothes ready, make my smoothie, book my Uber… avoid looking at emails or social media 1st thing or you’ll get sucked into the vortex.
Whichever behaviour you choose to work on for the next 14 days ….be honest with yourself and commit to the change….you can do this.