The Wow Beauty ‘My Beauty Journey’ is about people empowering others to ‘own their beauty’ by sharing their journey. Here’s Tami’s story.
As a woman in my 30s, I face insecurities everyday. I ultimately feel our insecurities never go away. We just learn how to manage them as we get older. Or at least we should. As a child I struggled with being the tallest kid in the classroom and usually the heaviest. It’s funny how insecurities as a kid, can still impact you as an adult. However, new insecurities can come into play as an adult as well. For me it’s been the stubborn fat areas, cellulite, under eye bags and the list goes on.
For the longest time, I refused to wear high heels, in fear that I would be the tallest person in the room. I’m 5’8” so naturally if i wear a 5 inch heel, I’d be well over 6ft. I remember passing up on certain shoes not because they may be hard to walk in, but because I didn’t want to stand out as the tallest person in the room! I cared about other people’s opinion of me versus my own. I cared too much about what other people thought of me.
Growing up I was quite chubby and always struggled with weight. I hated being the chubby kid and constantly obsessed over losing weight and obtaining a certain size. Gradually, the weight started to come off and I grew into my shape going into my freshman year of high school. However, then I became insecure about being too curvy. I was thinner and had curves in the right places. But, I was still insecure that my curves would bring the wrong attention and that I would stand out in the wrong way. There again I cared too much of other people’s perception rather than loving what I was born with.
Over time and throughout the years, I learned to embrace my tall, awkwardness and wear whatever pair of shoes I please. Especially if it’s a black, sleek, and pointy toe shoe! I’m not sure exactly what triggered me to embrace being tall and not care what others think. I think I forced myself to wear and do what made me happy. I began to focus on what made me feel better and how a certain pair of shoes made ME feel. Over time, I started wearing heels left and right and, lost count of how many pairs of shoes I accumulated in my closet. I had to make up for the years I went without a nice, high heeled shoe! Now if I don’t wear heels as much, it’s due to the comfort of the shoe and not if the shoe makes me too tall. I still have insecurities, but being tall is not one of them. It’s a gift and makes me unique.
Weight loss, however, has always been an up and down struggle. I remember when I lost a ton of weight in grad school, I thought I would be so happy to have reached my goal. But, then I started thinking I was too thin and not attractive anymore because I lost some of my curves. So gradually, I began to put weight back on. The yoyo dieting and not feeling confident at various sizes took a toll on me. My twenties were filled with crash diets, low self-esteem, and easy quick fixes to feel good at the moment.
Although, I have not fully embraced my actual weight, I began to embrace how I feel. I enjoy being a curvy woman and I feel great when I embrace that. I think a naturally curvy woman is so sexy. I started to thank God for blessing me with the curves that thousands of women were starting to pay for through surgical enhancements. I started to look at it as a blessing instead of something that is negative. I started to let go of wanting to reach a certain weight, and began to focus on wanting to be healthy. By practicing gratitude and changing my focus to being healthy, I began to gradually feel more confident.
Nowadays I manage my lapses in confidence in a few different ways. Mantras are a huge part of me getting through self-doubt. Every morning and throughout the day I make a point to say to a few statements to myself. Two of my personal favorites are “You are beautiful no matter what size you are,” and “You are enough!”. Mantras truly help me feel confident no matter what is thrown my way throughout the day. Another tool that helps with lapses in confidence is doing something that I’m passionate about. I started a blog as a creative outlet, which has turned into a true passion. I enjoy writing and learning more about the blogger/influencer world. Turning my fears and moments of self-doubt into a moment to focus on my blog definitely helps me gain clarity and confidence. In my blog, I also talk about practicing self care. This is super important to me. I make time to do activities to boost my mood or vibe. I do certain things to have high vibes! A few of my favorites are lighting my favorite scented candle while applying my makeup, getting a nail polish change, decluttering, or using a sheet mask.
Staying confident is a job within itself. Some days are harder than others. When these tips aren’t working, I make an effort to surround myself with the people that love and care about me the most. I also tend to think about my dad who lost his battle with cancer in 2014. When I think about how life isn’t guaranteed, and how losing a parent is one of the hardest things I ever had to go through, it helps to put a lot into perspective. Weight, being tall, and caring about what others think sounds so trivial. There is so much more to life than physical appearance, so why not embrace what you have.
You can find Tami Instagram @_lovetami and www.lovetami.com