Beauties, today we’re sharing a piece from our wonderful regular contributor Lisa Cybaniak about the process of writing her brand new book, ‘Survior to Warrior’.
I imagine the process of writing a book is different for everyone, except for one thing: inspiration. Everyone needs inspiration, don’t they? We need a reason to get out of bed, for the clothes we choose to wear, to get to our destination on time, and to push ourselves to go the extra mile.
The same was true for me when writing my book about overcoming 10-years of child abuse. I needed a reason to write, not just to give me focus and understand what to write in each chapter, but to keep going when what I was writing about threatened to take over.
The intimacy of breaking my silence
To go back to that life, even if just in my mind, was a serious risk. I had spent most of my life trying to pretend it had never happened, simply by keeping my silence. But things had begun to shift a few years ago when I decided to ‘come out’ with my story in my first blog, Victim to Survivor.
I wrote the blog for myself, as my way of freeing myself from the shattering silence, and to celebrate the growth I was experiencing with my new-found desire to speak up. I was done with carrying the shame that belonged square on his shoulders.
Their responses changed everything
The response I received from the blog was incredibly supportive and positive, but there was a clear trend. Anyone that had ever known me, at any stage of my life, commented on how put together I always appeared; how I was someone they had looked up to because my life seemed so great; that I was always so positive.
They were right, at least partially. These friends, family members and acquaintances had seen what I wanted them to see – the mask. You know the one? It’s the mask we all wear when we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves; when we don’t want questions asked.
I wasn’t ready for those questions, so I adorned the mask they needed to see. And the moment I realised that, I had my inspiration.
I had been fooling more than just them
You see, in that moment, I realised I had been wearing that mask for myself. I had worked so hard for two decades to overcome the beliefs that were deeply rooted from those 10 years of trauma. You know the ones? I’m too ugly, stupid, worthless and useless to deserve anything good in my life.
I had learned to love myself, shift my mindset and challenge those limiting beliefs. It literally took consistent effort over 20 years, and here I was realising that I still was keeping my story hidden.
Was this because I still felt the shame, or because it was just my habit?
After some real soul searching, I had my epiphany: It was a habit and I was ready to break it.
Herein lays my inspiration
This is where the inspiration for writing my book grew. Next, I needed to determine what my story was. I don’t mean that I was making it up, but rather was my story about being abused, or was it about overcoming my limitations?
I realised something then. I am not defined by my abuse. My book would not be about the abuse, but about my journey to the person I am today.
And that was the inspiration I held onto each time I became overwhelmed or stuck. It’s the truth I chose to focus on. Knowing that those words, my words, would help even one person, was my inspiration. And it continues to be, as I go through the process of publishing and launching my true story.
Interested in learning a bit about my book? Watch the video here!
Lisa Cybaniak is a Motivational Speaker, NLP Practitioner, Author and survivor of 10-years of child abuse, who empowers women to overcome their limitations, to build the life they deserve.
Lisa’s focus is on teaching the power of understanding our core beliefs, to make key changes, causing ground-breaking transformation.
To book Lisa to speak at your event, or to see how she can help you process your unique journey and transform your life to one of meaning, love and ultimate happiness, visit her website. You deserve it!
Click here to order Lisa’s book, Survivor to Warrior!
Lisa’s book launch is at Blackwell’s on Broad St in Oxford on Aug 1st from 7-9pm