There is a saying that goes “you’ve gotta let go of the old to make space for the new”, well maybe that’s what I think I’ve heard, you may prefer the more spiritual version of “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need”. Lao Tzu
My point is that for us to truly realise our potential, to really achieve our vision we often have to let go of something. Now, here’s the thing: I don’t know anyone who can really say that they enjoy the experience of letting go, because for many of us the very idea of letting go is a scary concept at the best of times. We get sooooo comfortable with our default behaviours, habits, people and places that we really don’t want to give them up; they are familiar and almost grounding in a funny way, even though they are not helping us to grow and in many instances are blocking our path, keeping us stuck…its called self-sabotage! They can often simply be unrealistic expectations that you’ve held onto that you now need to let go of to make room for growth.
You keep talking about your dreams and changing your life, BUT in order to make a positive change in your life, in order to truly have a chance of manifesting some of your goals, you have to ‘dare to let go’ of some of the elements of your life that could be blocking your growth. Now don’t get me wrong; what you need to let go of may have served you well in the past, and may have been your anchor when you needed it most, but now it’s in your way, impeding your progress, weighing you down, depleting your energy, wasting your time etc…get it? It no longer fits into your life.
It’s time to re commit to yourself. Ask yourself: who am I becoming? How do I want to live? What do I want to achieve? What is my true purpose? [Putting this on paper always helps] Then ask yourself: what do I need to introduce to my life to help get me there? Where is the space for it? What do I dare to let go of to get there? We need to make room for growth, after all if we keep expending time and emotional energy on sustaining these ‘self-sabotaging’ behaviours, we’ll always have a justification for stalled or failed goals!
Ok, so hopefully now you’re thinking about letting go of at least one thing that’s affecting your growth and your ability to move forward: for some of us it’s a self-sabotaging behaviour such as chronic lateness or procrastination; for others its issues like poor organisation or budgeting or an inability to control cravings for caffeine or social media or it could be having people in our lives who are chronic takers, draining us emotionally and psychologically without replenishing us in any way. Let’s not forget the power of good old ‘negative self- talk’ that can stop us in our tracks at critical moments!
A-It’s not always easy to let go, but you’ve already taken the first step by owning up to yours!
B-Recognise your own self-sabotaging behaviour (SSB) Make a literal ‘note to self’ of your SSB’s and the next time you find yourself behaving in some way that is preventing you from achieving what you need or want to do look at your note.
C- Ask yourself if it’s there’s a rational reason for your SSB, if there isn’t, then it’s probably fear or self-doubt…in which case see D below.
D- Create a positive self coaching message for yourself, that you can read whenever you need support and a reminder of that wonderful vision that you are going to achieve.
I dare you to try this it! Let go & let me know how it works out for you by emailing me.
“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra